15 Candidates For Worst Parents Of The Year

Sometimes, after life deals you a particularly rough hand, and things just feel the worst, you wonder how things could have been better. It’s not always the healthiest instinct, but it’s understandable. However, no matter how bad things get, I promise that they could have been worse. If you had been raised by one of these parents, your problem wouldn’t be not getting into the graduate school of your choice, but rather, “that hobo laid claim to my dumpster behind the Arby’s.” So stop crying and start laughing uncomfortably at these candidates for the world’s worst parents.

15. Where Did My Damn Kid Go?

It’s hard to tell from the pic, but the background gives a pretty good indication that the gentleman in this picture is a carney. If that’s so, then this is probably a best-case scenario.

14.We Ran Out Of Formula

“Oh, I’m sorry for feeding booze to my kid. I’m sorry for training him to be a giant BADASS!”

13. Damn Hippies

Honestly, if I was stuck at some smelly outdoor hippie jambaroo, I would probably want to be wedged between a back and a chair as well. Not pictured: a thousand acoustic guitars.

12. Booster Seat

My problem here is more with the  snow camo sweater than it is with the tens of thousands of volts coursing under those children.

11. We Are All Witness To A Sex Crime

Yeah, kid. You’re getting molested on film. Still, you don’t have to be so dramatic about it. Chalk it up to experience and move on, buddy. If a kid gets molested in the forest, does anyone hear it? If the kid is screaming as loud as it looks like he is, then yeah, probably.

10. This Kid Doesn’t Have A Chance

The kid is actually looking out the window of the fourth-story apartment, saying to himself, “Jump. I should jump. I should definitely jump. The impact couldn’t possibly be any worse than what’s happening in this room at this very minute. I’m going to jump. My rendezvous with the sidewalk will be a relief.

9. Welcome To The Real World, Kid

“Listen, I know it’s dangerous, but if you can think of another way for me to send my child to the liquor store for off-brand ice cream, two packs of Newports, and a jug of Arizona Iced Tea, then please, let me know.”

8. It’s Not A Backpack, Sir

He’s ignoring a text that says, “Hey Andrew – remember not to crush your baby.”

7. Father-Daughter Time

This child doesn’t know what’s going on, but she knows it’s bad parenting. Also, They guy is clearly cat-calling. If you’re going to objectify women in front of your daughter, at least do it silently. It’s the courteous thing to do.

6. Baby Tetris

I hope they don’t get one of those “Z” shaped babies that falls down into the group and screws everything up, causing babies to pile up until you lose.

5. “Stay Here Until We Get Back”

This is actually kind of an example of good parenting. The look on the child’s face says, “Same crap, different day.” At least they’re not dangling food in front of her just out of arm’s reach. Glass is half-full and whatnot.

4. You Don’t Want To See The “After” Picture

Well, I’m pretty sure this is a crime. I don’t think it’s legal to feed your baby to a boa constrictor. Also worth noting is the way the baby has just given up, relegated to its fate of becoming snake food. It’s as if he or she is whispering, “I have the worst parents. Please eat me. You’d be doing me a favor.”

3. That Baby Wishes It Was Anywhere But Here

Dude, all you really have to do here is set your baby outside the bedroom while you take naked pics of yourself to post on whatever Insane Clown Posse message board you happen to frequent. No child should have to see that. Also, your body isn’t that great. Are you sure people want to see it?

2. Role Reversal

“Daddy’s a little…sick…today, so will you to the fridge and get him one of his sodas in the silver can and pour it in his mouth? And try not to make too much noise. And turn the fan on.”

1. “If I Can’t See My Baby, It Doesn’t Exist”

Don’t you hate it when you have to move your baby AND a big piece of posterboard? I guess technically there’s nothing illegal or even negligent going on here, but taking away your child’s dignity like that isn’t cool. At all.